VEGETARIAN: On Again, Off Again

In the beginning the Creator said: 

"...Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the surface of all the earth, and every tree which has fruit yielding seed; it shall be food for you;" (Genesis 1:29)

As a kid, I remember eating chicken legs and pork chops and ribs.  I remember sucking the bones clean and even chewing the pork chop bones to get all I could out of them.  Excuse me while I barf......

Ok, I'm back; didn't really get sick - but that's how I felt while going over those memories.  At some point in my childhood I noticed the chicken legs had these vein-like looking things in them...Lightbulb!!  "These are LEGS from a chicken!"  Ever since then, food had to be boneless.  Bones reminded me of what the "food" used to be and it made me feel very barbaric. Over the years it progressed from not only boneless but to either ground, shredded, or pounded thin.  It's hard to bite into a thick steak or chicken breast and not think about what it once was.

I still love my cheeseburgers though - I have to have one now and then, and I periodically eat chicken, turkey, fish and seafood as well (nothing with a shell on it though).

When the doctor told my husband he was on the cusp of high cholesterol and gave him some pills to take (forever), we were like "uhm...no".  Husband agreed to start eating foods that I preferred.  He actually likes fake chicken, fake bacon, and black bean burgers; he doesn't mind coconut oil over butter; and salads are good occasionally.  He realized he likes more than just peanuts, there are lots of good nuts to eat.  We each lost 8-10 lbs. until we broke and grabbed a burger.  Now we're steady at the weight we lost - haven't regained.  And vegetarian food has the most amazing flavors - it's not just a salad bar.

Here's my newest freak out about eating animals: I'm ok with animals hunted for food but animals raised for food, even in the most "humane" situation, bothers me now.  It seems to me animals which are hunted for food know the dangers in life, and if someone gets shot, they're like "damn, always knew this might happen".  But animals raised on a farm, kindly and lovingly taken care of, fed the best, allowed to roam grassy fields, and given shelter are like "damn, I thought you loved me".  I'm positive they feel fear in the end and probably even betrayal. Seems to me that farmed animals are being lied to.  And that is now breaking my heart.  I don't care if you laugh or roll your eyes.  This is just how I feel.

Don't hate me when I eat a cheeseburger - I guilt myself enough.  But I'm really getting better at being vegetarian, almost there.  I don't hate you for eating animals - we all make our own choices.  This is just my struggle currently.

I have no interest in being vegan.  I raise chickens, they are wonderful "children" and they don't care if I take their eggs and eat them - heck, they love to eat them too!  I also love cheeses and cream (not together); however, it does bother me not knowing how the cows are treated.   I may start finding a local source of happy cow or happy goat milk and start making my own cheese.  Who knows.  I don't own a lot of leather, but what I do own is old, I don't buy new - so that's a little better.

I just keep working on it.